Dear Birth Mother
Hi there, I’m Sam. I can only imagine the mix of emotions and feelings you must be experiencing right now, and I hope to give you a sense of what a great parent I will be, and the unconditional love that I’m ready to share as a father.
From a young age, I always knew that I wanted to be a dad. I already have strong, loving relationships with nephews and nieces, godchildren, and friends’ kids and my friends jokingly call me the Baby Whisperer!
I know that being a single father will be a challenge, but I’ve got a lot of support and I’m completely ready to be a dad. Thanks so much for taking the time to get to know me a bit better!
Get to Know Me
I’m half-French, half-American, and grew up in various countries across Africa and Asia. I recently moved back to Vietnam, one of the countries I lived in as a child. It’s a wonderful place with a strong sense of community, and I have a great network of childhood and adult friends.
While I had always thought I would have kids of my own, I’ve yet to meet the right woman. Now that I’m 40, I’ve decided to start a family while staying open to meeting someone in the future.
I’ve been blessed with a wonderful life, family, friends, health, and career I’m passionate about. I can think of nothing more fulfilling than being a loving father and raising a happy, strong, fun, wise, confident, and compassionate Child.
This Or That:
Big Party or Small Gathering?
- Small Gathering
Iced or Hot Coffee?
- Hot in the morning, iced in the afternoon
Sneakers or Sandals?
Cake or Pie?
While walking, Music or Podcasts?
Live in the City or on an Island?
- In the city
Movies at Home or at the Theater?
- At the theater
A Few Hobbies and Interests That I Enjoy:
- Music – I’m passionate about music, with a particular affinity for John Coltrane (Jazz) and Billie Holiday (Blues). I played the saxophone as a kid, and occasionally still bring it out for some informal jamming with friends, though I’m a little rusty!
- Food – Food and cooking are also a central part of my life and I’m always super excited to try new dishes and delicacies wherever I travel. I love cooking for friends and family who come to visit, whether it’s an Indian fish curry, a Filipino adobo or a French ratatouille.
- Exercise – In order to counter-balance all of that good eating, I try to exercise pretty regularly. Fortunately for me, Ho Chi Minh City has a lot of Ultimate Frisbee groups, and I usually go out and play 2-3 times a week. It’s a great workout but also a fun way to meet new people.
- Travel – As you can probably guess I love to travel! I’m fortunate to have had the chance to travel for both work and pleasure to over 80 countries across North and South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and Oceania. Travel is the fuel for my continued curiosity about different people, cultures, languages, foods, landscapes and cityscapes around the world, and these are experiences I look forward to sharing with my future child.
My Work and Home
I work for foundations, non-profits, and United Nations organizations, with a focus on health and education projects around the world. A lot of my work is actually focused on improving the lives of babies, young children and their families, which is experience I hope will come in handy as I start my own family! My work is very rewarding, and it’s also a humbling reminder of the privileges I have and the good life I hope to share as a parent. I’m also fortunate to have the flexibility to work my own hours and from home, which will allow me to spend the time that every child deserves with their parent.
The Place I Call Home: I live in Ho Chi Minh City in Southern Vietnam, a bustling and exciting city that is super diverse and bursting with culture. My neighbourhood is mostly Vietnamese, and I live only a five-minute walk from the botanical gardens and zoo, pools, playgrounds, and a riverside walking path. The area has a number of schools, daycares, and kindergartens, so there are always children around and people are very friendly and open towards them. With all the excitement, I’m lucky that my two-bedroom apartment is an oasis of quiet on the 7th floor of a small apartment building. With windows in every room and unobstructed views, it offers great light, and a warm, comfortable environment for a baby’s first years. Also, my neighbours have a 12-month old son who is eagerly awaiting a play-mate!
I may be single, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an incredible family! My parents worked for non-profits, which is why I grew up in so many different countries. Beyond my parents, I have 32 first cousins and a multitude of aunts and uncles who are eagerly awaiting the newest addition to the family (while gently scolding me for taking so long)!
My mother, Monique, is a remarkable French woman, who continues to do work in developing countries even into her 70s. She’s passionate, perceptive and incredibly generous, and I know she’ll be an amazing grandmother! My father, Jerry, was born in Brooklyn and passed away in 2008, but he’s a model for the type of father I aspire to be. Warm, affectionate and wise, he had a great joy for life and was renown as an amazing cook. He was happiest in the kitchen surrounded by friends and family, using food as a way of conveying his love for all of us.
Friends Around the World: Because of my travels, I have a wide variety of friends of all backgrounds living all around the world! Luckily it’s easy to stay in touch with Facebook and WhatsApp, and I love going to visit friends in different countries and seeing the world through their eyes.
Family Traditions: Every summer in July or August, I go to my French family’s house in the Alps to spend about ten days with various aunts, uncles, and cousins. It’s a beautiful spot, and we always take advantage of being there to swim, hike, and enjoy nature – as well as eating a lot of the local cheese! Since many of us live around the world, this is also an important moment to reconnect and come together across the generations of our family.
One important family tradition is to meet in Boston, where my mother lives, for Thanksgiving. This holiday in our family has always been one spent with friends, and we typically have at least 10-15 people in attendance from all over the United States and beyond. Everyone brings a dish or drink, and we spend a long afternoon and evening cooking, eating, singing, and sharing the joys of the past year.
I had the privilege to get an excellent education, attending Harvard College and Princeton for my graduate degree, and I will definitely encourage and support my future child’s intellectual growth. On the other hand, I totally recognize that each child is different and they need to find their own passions and academic path. I was lucky to have had an incredibly warm, loving, nurturing childhood with my parents, and I promise to give that to my child as well.
As a Parent I Look Forward To:
- Spending quality time, eating nutritious meals, and getting good exercise as a family.
- Giving them the confidence to go out and explore the world, take risks, and sometimes even make mistakes – but always know that I’ll be there for them no matter what.
- Staying connected with loved ones via video calls, phone calls, and in-person visits.
- Giving them the opportunity to live in different countries, learn a multitude of languages and cultures, and become a tolerant, open-minded, truly global citizen.
In Closing: Thank you again for taking the time to get to know me and my family. I’m grateful that you are considering this incredible gift to both your child and me. I promise that your child will know about your deep love, generosity, and sacrifice. And I also promise to love and cherish your child, to encourage and cultivate them to grow as a person, to nurture their talents, and to always bring comfort and compassion during life’s ups and downs. I will do my best to give your child every possible opportunity for a vibrant, happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. We will talk about their beautiful adoption story, and your courage and love for them.