Dear Birth Mother
Thank you for taking the time to read my profile, and for considering me as an adoptive parent for your child. I can only imagine the mix of emotions and feelings you must be experiencing as you face this difficult decision, and I admire your courage in considering what will be best for both of you. I don’t believe that there’s a right or wrong choice, and I am sure that your decision will be motivated by your deep love for your child. I hope that my profile can give you a sense of what kind of parent I can be, and the unconditional love that I’m ready to give.
From a young age, I have loved children and knew that I wanted to be a dad. As the years have passed, I’ve managed to establish strong, loving relationships with several children of all ages – nephews and nieces, godchildren, and friends’ kids. Unusually for a guy, I do really well with babies-so much so that some of my friends jokingly call me the Baby Whisperer! While I had always thought I would have kids of my own, I’ve yet to find a woman whom I can share the rest of my life with. While I still hope that will happen someday, at 40 I’m now more than ready to be a father. While I’m financially secure enough to offer all the material things a child would need, I know that being a single father will be a challenge! I’m fortunate that I won’t be alone, as I’ll have a lot of support, guidance, and help from family and friends. While I’ve been blessed with a wonderful life, family, friends, health, and career, I can think of nothing more fulfilling than being a loving father and raising a happy, strong, fun, wise, confident, and compassionate girl or boy.
I’m half-French, half-American, and grew up in various countries across Africa and Asia. I recently moved back to Vietnam, one of the countries where I lived, as I feel it’s an ideal place to raise a child. The sense of community here is strong, I have a great network of friends, and people are generally super child-friendly.
I live in Ho Chi Minh City in southern Vietnam, a bustling and exciting city that is super diverse and bursting with culture. My neighbourhood is mostly Vietnamese, and I live only a five-minute walk from the botanical gardens and zoo, pools, playgrounds, and a riverside walking path. The area has a number of schools, daycares, and kindergartens, so there are always children around and people are very friendly and open towards them. With all the excitement, I’m lucky that my two-bedroom apartment is an oasis of quiet on the 7th floor of a small apartment building. With windows in every room and unobstructed views, it offers great light, and a warm, comfortable environment for a baby’s first years. Also, my neighbours have an 18-month old son who is eagerly awaiting a play-mate!
I had the privilege to get an excellent education, attending Harvard College and Princeton for my graduate degree, and I will encourage and support my future child’s intellectual growth, all while recognizing that each child is different and needs to find their own passions and academic path. I work for different foundations, non-profits, and United Nations organizations, with a focus on health and education projects for young children, which is experience I hope will come in handy as a dad! I’m also fortunate to have the flexibility to work my own hours and from home, which will allow me to spend a lot of quality time with my future child. I’m excited to give him or her the opportunity I’ve had to live and work in different countries, learn a multitude of languages and cultures, and become a truly global citizen.
Family and Friends
I may be single, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an incredible family! My parents worked for non-profits, which is why I grew up in so many different countries. Beyond my parents, I have 32 first cousins, 27 of whom are on my mother’s side. All of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are eagerly awaiting the newest addition to the family (while gently scolding me for taking so long)!
My mother, Monique, is a remarkable French woman, who continues to do work in developing countries even into her 70s. She’s passionate, perceptive and incredibly generous, and I know she’ll be an amazing grandmother! My father, Jerry, was born in Brooklyn and passed away in 2008, but he’s a model for the type of father I aspire to be. Warm, affectionate and wise, he had a great joy for life and was renown as an amazing cook. He was happiest in the kitchen surrounded by friends and family, cooking up some magic to comfort us all.
Every summer in July or August, I go to my French family’s house in the Alps to spend about ten days with various aunts, uncles, and cousins. It’s a beautiful spot, and we always take advantage of being there to swim, hike, and enjoy nature – as well as eating a lot of the local cheese! Since many of us live around the world, this is also an important moment to reconnect and come together across the generations of our family.
One important family tradition is to meet in Boston, where my mother lives, for Thanksgiving. This holiday in our family has always been one spent with friends, and we typically have at least 10-15 people in attendance from all over the United States and beyond. Everyone brings a dish or drink, and we spend a long afternoon and evening cooking, eating, singing, and sharing the joys and sorrows of the past year.
What I Love to Do
As you can probably guess I love travel! I’m fortunate to have had the chance to travel for both work and pleasure to over 80 countries across North and South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and Oceania. Travel is the fuel for my continued curiosity about different people, cultures, languages, foods, landscapes and cityscapes around the world, and these are experiences I look forward to sharing with my future child.
I’m passionate about music, with a particular affinity for John Coltrane (Jazz) and Billie Holiday (Blues). I played the saxophone as a kid, and occasionally still bring it out for some informal jamming with friends, though I’ d definitely describe myself as ‘rusty’ in that department. Food and cooking are also a central part of my life, as one would expect given my father’s background. I’m super excited to try new dishes and delicacies wherever I travel, and I love cooking for friends and family who come to visit. I usually cook my father’s recipes, though I’ve got a long way to go before reaching his level.
In order to counter-balance all of that good eating, I try to exercise pretty regularly. Fortunately for me, Ho Chi Minh City has a number of Ultimate Frisbee groups, and I usually go out and play 3-4 times a week. I love Ultimate not only for the exercise, but also because it allows me to meet many young Vietnamese friends and to see the world through their eyes. It’s also one of the few sports that is co-ed by default and has no referees (meaning players have to work things out themselves), which is a set of values and skills that I think are useful in all parts of life.
Thank you again for taking the time to get to know me and my family. I’m grateful that you are considering this incredible gift to both your child and me. I promise that your child will know about your deep love, generosity, and sacrifice. And I also promise to love and cherish him or her, to encourage and cultivate them to grow as a person, to nurture their talents, and to always bring comfort and compassion during life’s ups and downs. I will do my best to give your child every possible opportunity for a vibrant, happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.